


The Worst Game of One-Upmanship

by Tangerine_Catnip



Series: The Twins Get Kinky [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Blupjeans Week 2018, Cat-Like Elves, Collars, Elves with tails, F/M, Light Dom/sub, erotic comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 13:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine_Catnip/pseuds/Tangerine_Catnip
Summary: Taako and Lup get competitive, dragging Barry and Kravitz along for the ride. (Blupjeans Week: Day 2 - Family)





	The Worst Game of One-Upmanship

 

It started innocently enough.

Taako and Lup were sitting at the kitchen counter, crunching through two separate, but equally sugar-packed bowls of cereal, when Lup said, "Dang, it's almost noon. I should go wake up the Care Bear."

Taako shrugged and took another bite. Lup slipped off her stool and took the stairs two at a time on her way up to her bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later Lup returned, wearing a completely different outfit then she had going up. It wouldn't have been all that suspicious, copious costume changes were a twin speciality, except that Lup's hair was sticking up in places, her cheeks were flushed bright pink, her lipstick was slightly smudged, and she was smiling so wide that all four of her tiny fangs were visible.

Lup dropped back down onto her stool, her tail swaying slowly back and forth in a contented fashion.

"Seriously?" Taako asked, glaring at her over the edge of his mug of coffee.

Lup laughed and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth it down.

"What? I wasn't going to let perfectly good morning wood go to waste. It's one of the best kinds!"

"Ugh, gross."

Lup abruptly stopped fixing her hair and settled a look onto her twin brother. "Taako from TV, are you telling me that you'd pass up on your boyfriend's involuntary boners?"

Taako coloured and took a long sip of his coffee, so he didn't have to reply to that. Lup tilted her head toward the staircase and said, "Krav is still dead asleep last I heard. You could go see just how human that human form is."

Taako swallowed. His ears twitched a few times, which usually meant he was thinking very deeply about something. Without further comment, Taako drained the last from his mug and headed towards the stairs.

Twenty minutes later Taako reappeared, dressed in a short black robe and displaying a very familiar spring in his step and sway to his tail.

Lup whistled and held her hand out for a high five. Taako gave her one.

Barry, who had come down to eat in the meantime, looked from one twin to the other, his slice of toast hovering halfway to his mouth.

"Not bad, bro. Maybe one day you'll grow up to be as kinky as your big sister."

"Excuse you, remember who's dating death here?"

"Nope. That's not so cool now that Bear and I are also reapers. Let me know if you find a way to fuck that skeleton form, I'd give you points for that."

"What?" Barry asked. Both twins ignored him.

"You actually think you're kinkier than me?" Taako asked, his tone developing a dangerous rumble and his slanted pupils contracting.

Lup instinctually picked up on his body language. Her ears pointed straight up, and her body visibly stiffened in the face of the purely theoretical threat he posed.

"Oh no, babe. It's more like I think you're so vanilla, I could put you on apple pie."

A cold silence ensued. Taako glared. Lup stared. Their tails swished aggressively, and both pairs of fangs were out.

"Uh, oh..." Barry said as Kravitz entered the kitchen.

Kravitz took in the sight of Lup and Taako facing off, then turned to Barry. The brothers-in-law exchanged a look.

Kravitz murmured, "We're about to have a hellish week, aren't we?"

Barry nodded, lips pursed. "Right out of the second circle..."

Kravitz nodded and walked around the twins. "Well, I'm going to get some coffee while I still can."

 

* * *

 

Barry collapsed onto the sofa beside Kravitz. Every part of him was either weighed down with exhaustion or aching. His neck and shoulders were covered in pale pink bite marks in various stages of healing, and he was hiding more than a few full-blown bruises further down his body.

Kravitz seemed to be doing better, but only if you didn't notice that he was putting most of his weight on the armrest and was sitting on one of the sofa pillows.

"Did you throw out all the candles?" Barry asked once he'd had time to catch his breath.

Kravitz nodded. "Did you hide all the honey and chocolate?"

"Yes, but the sugar bag was too big. They could still make syrup if they felt like it."

Both men sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Kravitz, we need to take control of our lives again..."

"I've tried! I can't say no to Taako."

"You don't have to. If we can't beat them, we'll just use the game against them."

In a show of energy more vibrant then anything he had expressed all week, Barry jumped to his feet and stood with his shoulders squared and his chin up.

Kravitz frowned at him and said, "I can't see how that's going to help..." but he'd worked with Barry long enough to know when he was utterly set on a course of action.

"Go get Taako and bring him here. In his collar and leash if he's a brat about it. I'll get Lup, then you follow my lead."

Kravitz sighed and slowly got to his feet. He would try almost anything at this point.

* * *

 

Barry found Lup in their bedroom. She was laying on the floor, her feet sticking out from under the bed. The bottom corners had a pair of long black straps that were fastened somewhere underneath the mattress and connected to a pair of plush black cuffs.

Presumably, they were part of a full set of four that would fasten the yet to be determined submissive to the bed, but if things worked out, Barry wouldn't need to find that out until after he'd had some time to recover.

He got down on his knees and grabbed both of Lup's ankles. Lup squeaked and dropped whatever it was she was holding as she was dragged out from under the bed.

Lup blinked up at Barry from the floor, a hungry smile spreading across her face.

"Back for more already? I thought I'd just finished with you."

Lup wrapped her arms around Barry's neck. Barry held her around her lower back and picked her up.

"Hey, kitten?" Barry asked, using the nickname he saved for when he wanted to be in total control.

Lup relaxed in his arms and batted her eyelashes at him.

"Meow?"

Barry set her on her feet and walked over to the dresser. In the bottom drawer, he found a leather collar and matching leash.

"You are going to apologise to Taako."

Lup blinked at him again, this time in bewilderment.  
  
"I am?"

Barry nodded. Taking hold of the leash with both hands and pulling it taught.

"Yes. You are."

* * *

 

Taako and Kravitz were already in the living room when Barry arrived with Lup slung over one shoulder.

The former was curled up in a ball at the end of the sofa, hugging his knees to his chest, while the latter was standing to the side, holding a leash that connected to the collar around Taako's neck.

"Sup, bro," Lup greeted as Barry dropped her down on the couch beside him. Taako didn't reply or raise his head from his knees.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment. Both twins doing justice to the idiom 'herding elves.'

Barry cleared his throat and tugged sharply on Lup's leash. She glanced over at him, taking stock of his crossed arms and pursed lips.

Lup swallowed and sat up straight. Tucking her legs underneath herself, folding her hands in her lap, and holding her chin up.

Once Lup was settled, she turned to her brother.

"Hey, Ko. I'm sorry I said you could go on apple pie. It was very rude of me and..." Lup paused and glanced up at Kravitz. "-Well, it's clearly not the case."

"-Although, bones, you shouldn't let him sulk like that. It's not becoming for a pet," Lup added.

Kravitz almost choked on his tongue but was able to pull himself back together.

"Taako?" he prompted.

Taako dropped his knees and looked around at the four of them, a look of absolute indignation on his face.

"I can't believe this is happening. Whose stupid idea was this?"

Kravitz grabbed the side of Taako's collar and pulled him over until he was facing his sister.

Taako sighed, the tension leaving his shoulders. Kravitz let go, and Taako said, "Fine. I accept your apology." Although, by his tone, you could tell he almost didn't mean it. "-I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of it."

"Me too," Lup agreed. "Also, we juuuuuuust might have gone a little too hard on the guys. We should remember to tell them sorry as well."

Barry snorted, but didn't add anything more to the conversation.

"See, the thing is..." Lup added, taking a conversational left turn and proceeding to drive straight off the rails. "I know how much fun I have getting down and dirty with B-man and I didn't want you to miss out on having that because you can be... You know, kind of a prissy little prince, sometimes. I figured that if you were trying to show me up, you'd finally cut loose and try some new things."

Taako's mouth fell open.

"That's what this was about?!"

"Yes?" Lup admitted. "It worked, didn't it? Don't pretend like you would have tried wax play all on your own."

"I'm getting a divorce. I'm sibling divorcing you!"

Taako stood and strode out of the room, physically dragging Kravitz behind him.

"I love you too!" Lup called after them. Then turning to Barry said, "You really need to give Kravitz more pointers. Taako isn't very well trained at all."

Barry shook his head and tugged on Lup's leash. "Come on, kitten, I think you need to take a very cold bath."

 

 


End file.
